I’ve been single for a few years now. Whether you hear that as a good or bad thing is not all that important. I’ve learned things about myself to prepare my life for a future bride. However, there are certain observations that come with singleness. Here are 5 truths about being single.
- Being single does not mean you are loved less. At times, singleness feels empty, abandoned, or meaningless (especially on Valentine’s Day). Fact remains that we are still loved, but that love simply takes on a different form. My family has grown closer through seasons of difficulty (mentioned in two previous posts). Over the last year especially, I have come to know and love several close friends. They show me grace, compassion, concern, wisdom, and accountability. I know I am loved by fellow Christians and our Loving God. Tim Keller puts it more bluntly, “The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” You are loved, and don’t forget that.
- Being single adapts your heart for Christian community. Whatever model your church uses for community, there is a fundamental truth about them all: Christians sharpen each other for the glory of God and edification of the believer. For my context, small groups are the practical example of brothers (and sisters) coming together and building relationships. Community is never an easy thing; if it is, you’re doing it wrong. Being single in a small group has humbled and encouraged me; it’s shown my desire for the approval of others, for status and power. Ultimately, these believers have shown my need for the gospel. Community exposes our guilt only to be replaced with God’s goodness.
- Being single prepares your heart for a companion. This seems very counter-intuitive at moments. “I’m growing older and don’t have any prospects. How is this helping me get married??” Singleness, like other circumstances, is for a season (as I have mentioned in this post). You and I are placed here for a reason: to prepare our heart, soul, and mind for the most intimate relationship imaginable. The model is used of the Groom loving his Bride just as Christ has/is
loving the church. If this good, sinless, holy God likens himself to a Bride Groom, the weight and responsibility of marriage is intensified; use this time wisely.
- Being single exposes the idols of your heart. This is an expansion of the previous two truths. Community is an avenue to revealing idols; devoted time with God through prayer and meditating on His Word is another means. It’s tough reading through passages like Ephesians 5 and grasping a tangible meaning behind marriage. But over time and through community, God will reveal all mystery according to his purpose.
- Being single can be a tool for the mission of God. Simply put, single people have more time and energy on their hands. It’s hard to see now, but God has a special plan for all Christians (married and single). For some singles, this may mean devoting a summer to experience God’s work through short and long term missions (this cannot be overstated in importance). For others, it may be a season to be engaged in full-time mission work. Whatever the circumstance, I challenge you to “Do what you do well for the glory of God; and do it somewhere strategic for the mission of God.” (reference)
Many of these observations could have books written on them. In summary, don’t waste this season of singleness. It is a gift from God, so be a steward of what He has entrusted to you.
Did I miss anything? Have any truths or experiences you would like to add? Comment below.